Have you fallen for these lies homeschooling moms believe? I did. But, now I know the truth!
When I hear about someone who has been homeschooling for a long time, I think “Man, they must have it all figured out by now.” Then, I realize that there are homeschool moms who look at me and think the same thing.
You see, I’ve been homeschooling for sixteen years. I’ve taught all grades from preschool through graduation. I’ve had one go off to public school for high school. I’ve had one try high school only to come back home, because it wasn’t a good fit. My youngest is wrapping up middle school at home with me this year.
Three Lies Homeschooling Moms Believe
You’d think, by this point in my homeschool journey, that I’d know what I was doing, huh? Well, I do – kind of.
There are times that I fall victim to two big lies homeschooling moms believe, and I allow them to distort my view of this homeschool blessing. I never even realized that I was believing them. Nor did I realize that they were sucking the joy right out of my homeschool.
#1: There Is a “Perfect” Curriculum for My Family
I used to ask people for their opinions about what homeschool curriculum we should use. I used to read blogs looking for opinions and suggestions. Then, I would become convinced that whatever I was reading about was the solution to my current problem. So, I would order that next great thing, and realize that it wasn’t a great fit either.
I can’t count how much money I wasted looking for the perfect curriculum. What would hook my kids on reading? What would help my son learn to spell? What would make history more fun?
After many years (and many wasted dollars), I realized that there is no one-size-fits all curriculum. What works for one family or even one kid in my own family may not work for my family or another kid in my family. Each kid’s learning style is different. Family dynamics are different.
Truth: There is no such thing as a “perfect” curriculum. There’s only the one that works right now.
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#2: It’s Possible to Have It All Figured Out
In addition to believing I could find the perfect curriculum for my kids, I used to think that once I found it all our homeschool stress would be gone. Because I’d found the “perfect” curriculum, everything would be smooth sailing. Really, I’ve been homeschooling for 16 years. Shouldn’t I have it all figured out by now?
Oh my was I wrong! As I said, just because something worked for one of my kids didn’t mean it worked for all. Take spelling for instance. I found the perfect curriculum for my oldest on my first try! We trucked through Spelling Power
Bam! We hit a brick wall with him. Learning spelling rules wasn’t working for him. I purchased three more spelling programs before I found one that worked for him. Spelling Power worked like a charm again for my third child.
Truth: I have learned over the past 16 years that I do NOT have it all figured out. I still struggle through some days. I still purchase books that don’t work. I still over- or under-schedule our days. I still lose my cool when things don’t click as quickly as I think they should.
#3: It’s Possible to Do It All… All the Time
I used to believe I could be Super Mom. I could be able to cook a hot breakfast, bake homemade bread, homeschool my lovelies, keep my house spotless, cook dinner from scratch, and meet my hubby at the door with a smile when he gets home from work. Of course, I’d be dressed nicely with my hair done and makeup on.
The reality looks more like instant oatmeal, store-bought bread, homeschooling in the midst of piles of papers and art supplies, dinner in the crockpot (if we aren’t having leftovers…again), and a “hi” from the other room as hubby comes in after work. All done in sweats or yoga pants and a messy bun! We’ll pretend I’ve had time to shower at this point in the day.
Truth: I can only do what I can do. Some days, I’m rocking my homeschool, the house is moderately picked up, and dinner is cooking when hubby gets home. Other days, hubby comes home and we’re still doing school, the house is a wreck, and we’re eating pb&j for dinner. Most days, fall in between. I no longer strive to do it all…all the time. I strive to do what I can to the best of my ability. That’s all I’ve got!
Breaking Free from the Lies Homeschooling Moms Believe
Each of these lies is destructive. They create self-doubt. They lead me to sabotage my own success on this homeschool journey. They shake my confidence when things are going well. Even though I know these thoughts are lies, they still resurface from time to time and make me question myself.
So, I have to remind myself that these thoughts and feelings aren’t true. They are not the truth, therefore they should have no impact on my outlook for the day or the homeschool year. I can’t operate a successful homeschool based on things that are not true.
The real truth is…
The truth is that some days will rock, and some days will not. The beauty of homeschooling is that I have the ability to roll with the punches. I can take our good days and use them to propel me through the tough ones.
The truth is that I am doing everything I can to give my children the best education they can get. I’m working to tailor their education to their strengths and work with their weaknesses.
Even on my not-so-great days, they’re getting a great education in the security of a loving home! And, that’s the truth!
Which of these lies homeschooling moms believe have you fallen victim to? How did you break free?
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One of the most comforting things is knowing we are not alone in our journey. I’m grateful for women like you and Alicia who understand we are all in this together. Thank you!
Wow, you are spot on! There is no perfect curriculum, no child learns at the same pace or in the same way, and no family dynamic is exactly the same either. It took me several years to figure this out. Thank you 🙂
LOL…so true! I’ve been homeschooling for 18 years, and raising kids for 24, and though I can say I know a lot more than I did, I really don’t have it all “figured out,” either! And yes, you may figure it out for one child, then are given a totally different child who throws all that knowledge out the window! God certainly keeps us on our toes and humble!
I can relate. I haven’t been homeschooling as long as you have, but I have my share of “what was I thinking” stories. The biggest hurdle for me was that my homeschooling friends all seemed to use the same curriculum (so I got the same recommendations over and over), but it did not work for my children’s learning style. I knew going in they had different learning styles, but I so wanted to believe that the “right” curriculum could put everyone on the same page and get the job done. I’ve learned to take full advantage of samples that companies offer!
I have been there, and then I wondered what I was doing wrong when the “right” curriculum didn’t work for us. Samples are always helpful!
Don’t I know it! My first child was pretty easy until his teen years. My daughter has been pretty easy so far, as well. My middle one however was put on this earth to remind me that God is still working on me! LOL
Love this post. Pinning.
Oh my goodness that is the truth! My first I had it lucky, my second has me on my toes all day, and my third (my daughter) makes me want to have another. What is it about the second/middle child?!
I truly believe their purpose is to keep us on our toes. 🙂
I have believed the lie that we HAVE to do “IT ALL”. The truth is noone can do it all, and if they try, they will burn out quickly.
Great post!
This is very encouraging to me after a difficult year! Thanks.
I’m so sorry you had a rough year. I pray this year is much smoother for you.
That somehow all the other moms were doing a better job with their kids than I was with mine.
Yes! I’ve struggled with that one often.
I have only been homeschooling for a couple years, but can see how these “lies” can really break a homeschooling mom’s spirit. I appreciate the encouragement!
Thanks for stopping by the Learn & Play Link Up! This post is featured this week on Christian Montessori Network.
Yes. I wish I had recognized these lies much earlier. It would have saved me a lot of stress and heartache. Thank you for the feature!
I read so many how-to books on homeschooling when we first stated!! Every time I read one, though, it shook up my confidence in educating my children and I ended up more stressed out. Finally, my husband told me not to read anymore and just do what we felt was right and worked well for us. I’m not saying that reading how-to books on homeschooling is bad at all but sometimes it causes you to change things that were already working well enough for your family. I also get this question from new homeschoolers “What curriculum is best?”. It’s just hard to explain and I know it sounds overwhelming to new homeschoolers but it is really trial and error. It may take a few years to know what works best for each child. Thanks for this reminder that things change and you have to do what works best for the moment.
This is such an interesting article. Pinned and tweeted to share. Thanks for being a part of Snickerdoodle Sunday!
~Laurie
Thank you for sharing!
For a long time, I believed that it was easy for other moms, that I was the only one stressing over being perfect. Truth is, I still sometimes daydream about how smoothly it must go in other people’s houses. Then I remind myself that my own homeschool is perfect for my kids and force myself over it. Posts like this one help. 🙂
Visiting through Coffee and Conversation. I have believed those same lies during my homeschooling years. I’m getting ready to graduate my oldest and the lie I have to ignore is that I didn’t teach him enough. I’m convinced I taught him the most important things – a relationship with God and all that goes with that. Anything I didn’t teach him, I’ve taught him how to teach himself.
Great post!
Yes and Amen! I have only been homeschooling for 3 years and praise the Lord am figuring this out on the sooner side of things. What started with a Classical Conversations year ended up being not-as-much about CC but doing it when we can while we do what we do best it seems, which is “Al’ A Cart Home School” like my mama did for me when I was growing up LOL. A little of this, a little of that! My mom home schooled me and my 2 siblings. This year some changes had to be made. Recently I decided instead of trying to perfectly juggle way too much and look like I was keeping it cool on the outside, I wanted to enjoy my kids more and have joy in the daily living, so I thought you know what, mom had that God wisdom going on – think I need more of that, and we let go and said no to the “too much” and are enjoying less which allows us to enjoy more. We still have moments of course and life is life, walking in faith even when it is hard ya know, and now we have to move again…but God is good and I really appreciate moms like you who share your journey so others like me can glean wisdom!! Thanks!
I admire you SO much for homeschooling. I truly believe that is best for the kids.
Friday Frivolity
Such truth! Thanks for sharing and linking to the Homestead Blog Hop!
Thank you for the encouragement! There are some days I believe the lies. Thank you for the reminders.
Hi Tara,
I think the lie I most believed was that all my problems would be solved if I could find the perfect curriculum. Lies I tell you! :o)
Thanks for sharing these truths with us.
Have a blessed weekend,
Tiffiney
Oh, yes! That’s a big one! Definitely a lie!
That is so awesome! I love that you have found what works best for your family. That’s the true beauty of homeschooling, isn’t it?
Hi Patricia,
I’m glad you enjoyed this post. I don’t want you to share this entire post on your blog, but you are free to write a summary and direct people back here to read my post in its entirety.
Thanks for asking and sharing!
I definitely struggle with that same concern the older my kids get!
I’ve been homeschooling for 12 years, and I whole heartedly agree! Thanks for sharing at #SmallVictories
I agree that there isn’t a specific, “cookie cutter” approach to learning- for children or adults!
Thank you so much for sharing this at the Monday Mish Mash.
*Hugs*
I think for me the biggest homeschool lie was that all of the children would love each other and want to help each other. It was a brutal reality that homeschoolers do NOT have perfect children.
Not having it all figured out is true for all moms, whether you homeschool or not. I think we’re all just doing our best and figuring it out for our kids along the way. Thanks for linking up with Funtastic Friday.
You are absolutely right!
I think it’s so helpful to read posts like this, and realise that nobody has it all figured out all the time – we just need to keep working at it, and trying new things to find what does work. x #FridayFrivolity